A couple of weeks back I was at the mall with my kids to buy a gift for my wife’s birthday. My 9 year-old, Charis, thought that a robe would be perfect. Everyone agreed. We began to list stores we might want to check out. As we did, my youngest daughter, Faith, exclaimed “I know one store we aren’t going to visit – Victoria’s Secret!” I wasn’t certain which concerned me more, the fact my five year-old was aware of Victoria’s Secret or that she had formed such a clear and passionate opinion about it. Not entirely certain, I wanted to know more so I pressed ahead – “Why shouldn’t we go there?”, I asked. “Because they have pictures of women showing their private parts,” was the response of my children – incredulous at their father’s apparent cultural ignorance. They proceeded to look me in the eye and tell me, “Dad, those are things you shouldn’t look at either!” I nodded my head in agreement as we all turned toward J.C. Penney’s.
Kids relish opportunities to teach their parents about life – and as a parent, I like that too. In this case what I received wasn’t so much information about the pictures adorning Victoria’s Secret, but a reminder of the beauty of modesty through new eyes.
The Bible teaches us that we should dress and behave modestly. It does this not out of prudish repression of our sexuality (God is very pro-sex), but rather out of both a desire for personal dignity as well as a love for others. Our dignity is diminished when we allow ourselves to be sexually objectified. We cease being seen as a complete person made in the image of God who is worthy of love and respect. We begin being seen as, and more tragically seeing ourselves as, merely an extension of someone else’s sexuality.
Don’t misunderstand me; it’s important to be attractive to one’s spouse or those with whom we are interested in pursuing a relationship. The dance of attraction, pursuit and embrace is a beautiful God-given gift that is meant to be enjoyed and even celebrated, but it is never meant to define us. Modesty preserves our dignity, our independence and our balance as a person.
How do you define modesty? Do you think its possible to be modest yet fashionable?
Stacy Goebel posted on September 22, 2009
I think as women, it’s important to present ourselves well. There’s something excellent about a well put-together girl who is alive in God and inspired by Him. I think she understands her value to God and her role in the kingdom, and her outward appearance reflects that. “I have what she’s having!!” LOL
Now, I’m not talking about a white-washed tomb. It’s possible to look good on the outside and having a rotting inner-life, but that’s another blog post.
So, with the question of modesty, I hope we don’t interpret that as getting all frump’d out! I do believe we can be modest and fashionable. I think the key is to make sure we are covered up! Someone once told me a good rule of thumb (and forgive me boys for getting specific here…) is to make sure you are covered up three-sideways-fingers-wide from your cleavage! LOL. And I forget what the skirt/short length recommendation was… above the knee? And I think we need to pay attention to the fit of our clothes.
Here’s my bottom line: be intentional about what we’re wearing. Look good and be smart. We’re totally capable of that, because we’re capable women!
Prov. 31, baby!
Hope this helps the discussion!