Almost 5 years ago, a group of Chinese orphanage workers laid a beautiful little girl, fast asleep in yellow pajamas, into my wife’s arms. As I looked on, I was overwhelmed with both love for my new daughter and an awareness of God’s providence – not in a deterministic sense, but rather the impression that His hand of blessing was on our family.
I can’t even begin to speak of how deep my love for our daughter Faith has become. I love all of my children profoundly, and am endlessly fascinated by their individuality. Faith is my spitfire. She is a strong, smart, beautiful, athletic girl for whom life will present few limits. I can’t imagine life without her – I don’t even want to.
God has a special place in His heart for orphans (James 1.27, Deuteronomy, 24.19-20). They matter to Him. He is moved by their need. He wants them to be loved. The needs of orphans are very real. Their are currently more than 143 million orphans in the world. A staggering 16 million children become orphans each year. Currently, there are 500,000 children in the United State’s foster care system alone waiting for permanent families and another 160,000 children currently available for adoption through various agencies. These numbers don’t include the millions of additional children worldwide who need a home and a loving family.
Adoption is an act very close to God’s heart. The Bible tells us that God did not just save us from sin and death, but also adopted us as His sons and daughters (Romans 8.23, 9.4; Ephesians 1.5). God is our adopted Father who loves us and helps us each day. As an adoptive parent, He smiles on the adoption of children as well. He rejoices when our hearts become open to children who desperately need a mom and dad.
As people consider adoption, a few question frequently come to the forefront.
1. Will I be able to love someone else’s child like my own?
I worried about this before we adopted. Having concerns about this doesn’t make someone a bad person, just an honest one. I can tell you from experience that it will not be an issue. I love each of my kids, both biological and adopted, with all of my heart.
2. What will other people think?
People worry about the opinions of others, particularly those of family members and close friends. Often the concern is heightened when the race of the child is different from their own. Truthfully, there might be some narrow-minded people who voice a comment or two, but those comments will be few and far between. People respond to children – and if they don’t, you might want to reconsider your Christmas card list. Don’t worry too much about the opinions of others. They will likely be far more supportive than you imagine.
3. Can I really afford it?
Adoption can be expensive. It can run between $15,000-$30,000 for international adoptions and $12-$40,000 for domestic adoptions. We were able to economize on our adoptions in several ways including using friend’s air miles for travel. In total, we were able to lower our costs to between $15-$19,000 for each of our adoptions, which was still pretty daunting. There is also a federal tax credit for $10,000 which helps to offset this quite a bit. Companies sometimes have programs that offer matching funds. Our church has also helped many families to navigate some of these hurdles through our adoption ministry. For more information on The Chapel’s adoption ministry, you can contact Laura Grimes at grimes-l@sbcglobal.net.
4. Am I ready to take on this responsibility?
I think that this is the most significant question potential adoptive parents need to ask themselves. At it’s heart, adoption is not about “saving a child” or being a “good person”, it’s about being a parent. The right question is, “Am I ready to have a child?”
What are your thoughts about adoption?
Jennifer B posted on September 30, 2009
Adoption is close to my heart, for it was about a year ago that we met our son in an orphanage in China. Sadly I can’t say I thought about it much prior to God’s calling us to adoption. I can say it has been one of the most amazing experiences of our lives.What makes it so special is that it was part of God’s plan for our lives.When we first felt this call there were many questions and fears.It does scare me to think how much our family would’ve missed had we shut the door because of the doubts…our age, the finances, and the many what ifs. Did we wonder if we could love this child like he was a biological child-certainly. How completely blown away we all have been at the depth of our love for our son and brother. It is hard to even express, it feels like he has always been our son. We have experienced an incredible example of God’s love for us as He adopts us as sons and daughters and what a privilege to be able to do that in adopting our son. I so pray the church as a whole rises up for these children in need. There are many avenues to help with this cause. This is God’s heart and the blessings from it are enormous!