I started playing golf with my dad when I was 1o years old. Some of my best memories are associated with golf – friends, tournaments, early summer mornings and that rare (in my case) unmistakable feeling of hitting a shot for all it’s worth – to name just a few.
When I was in high school, I got to meet Jack Nicklaus, Gary Player and Arnold Palmer at a PGA event. It was the thrill of a young life. I remember not just what amazing players they were, but how they treated some kids from a steel town with grace and class.
I wanted to be like them – not just on the golf course, but in life. They were bigger than life, especially to us, but they wore it lightly and seemed to grasp that their celebrity was as much a responsibility as it was a privilege.
Like most of you, I have been following the Tiger Woods debacle. I have to confess I have never been much of a Tiger fan. Not because he isn’t the best player in the world – he is. Rather, because he has always seemed very self-absorbed and uncaring to those around him, particularly the “average Joes”. He would frequently drop the “F-Bomb” and slam clubs on the ground, pout and throw temper tantrums without regard for people, especially the young people around him. He gave the impression that fans were merely extras in the great drama of his life.
The world wanted to see a champion of color – and again, I must confess, so did I. We wanted an ambassador of golf for a new generation; one that would introduce the joys of the game to a broad group of people that might never have set foot on a course. Many golfers from previous generations grew up poor and spent much of their celebrity on encouraging other everyday people, mostly kids, to try a sport they never saw themselves involved in. I’m one of those kids.
I think that Tiger’s decision to cheat his marriage with what seems to be quite a collection of women is disappointing, but not totally surprising. Neither were his early fabrications about what happened the night of the accident or his apparent indifference in his press conference. It seems to be consistent with his view of life – that it’s really all about him.
That’s an attitude that extends well beyond athletes and movie stars. It has become home court for many of us. We have grown up in an age of entitlement. We often believe that life or God owes us something. We believe that our position and possessions are for us to enjoy, not to make the world a better place. That perspective is destructive to ourselves and those around us. When we start to believe that we are the center of the universe, not merely humble servants of God, we enter a danger zone.
No lasting healthy relationship, whether with a spouse, child or friend, was ever constructed on a foundation of mutual selfishness. If we are to learn anything from Tiger, it isn’t simply that cheating in life and golf courses comes with a heavy penalty, but that self-absorption leads to disaster. Or another way to say it might be the way it is found in Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
No amount of success at work can make up for failure at home. It just doesn’t translate. Another way to put it might be, it doesn’t matter how many under par you are on the back nine when you triple bogey life.
That is why God desperately encourages us to be loving, humble and gracious. How we live really matters. We don’t get to create our own reality, we just get live in one already created for us; one with God at its center – not us. One where love makes relationships work and humility is the only sure lens through which to see life.
In the end, I wish Tiger and and his family well. I hope they find healing in God. But, just as importantly, I hope their pain can serve as a reminder to us all; that when we make ourselves what life is all about, we end up with, well, just our self.
Tell me what you think about this.
@n810smom posted on December 9, 2009
Scott, what a great message. I miss hearing you speak at The Chapel, you always had a way of making me walk away with a greater understanding on everything. Marriage and values have been a topic of discussion around our house lately because both my husband and myself have noticed many people with the "all about me" attitude lately. Marriage doesn’t seem to hold the weight it once does and when celebrities do stuff like this, it tends to reinforce that message unfortunately
thank you for sharing your eloquent words on a sensitive matter such as this.