Many of us have tried to fill that need in ways that have not helped. We’ve dated or even married people who haven’t really treated us well. We fell in with friends who didn’t take us in the right direction or we filled our lives with shallow relationships that never really met our needs. It’s actually possible to be surrounded by people and still feel loneliness. I’ve had relationships with people for years but don’t feel like I really know them or they me. Relational satisfaction isn’t based solely on how many people we have in our life but also on how well we know them and feel known by them.

The quality of our relationships is as important as the quantity of our relationships. Some of us naturally gravitate to having just a few very close relationships; others to having lots of relationships that vary in depth. Whether we have many or few, the real question is whether those relationships help you to feel connected to others in a deep, lasting and meaningful way.

God’s plan to help us overcome loneliness is two-fold. First, He wants us to have significant relationships with both our natural family and our church family. This is why small groups are so important. To be able to connect to people who love and follow God is one of the most supportive and helpful things we can ever do. Small groups help us as individuals, but they help our marriages and families to thrive as well.

But there is a second part of God’s plan – He wants us to regularly connect with Him in a meaningful way. In fact, He created us in such a way that a part of our soul can only feel content when we are connected deeply in a relationship with Him. In  other words, we have a God-shaped vacuum in our hearts that can only He can fill.

We are the most complete when we connect with God at the center of our lives and with others who love God and love us at deep levels. This is God’s plan for us relationally.

How are you doing relationally? Do you feel relationally full or empty? What is a next step for you to take relationally with God?

One of the most important decisions I ever made was to link myself relationally with others who were passionate about God. It has allowed me to experience what God is doing in other people’s lives, which has been both motivating and clarifying about what God is doing in me. I have found that other people are often asking the same questions that I am, struggling with similar insecurities and experiencing God in ways that help me understand how He is leading me. Small groups have also been a place where I have been able to share what is going on in my life in a safe environment where I can be encouraged to move forward or challenged to slow down and reconsider where I’m headed.

During the past 15 years of leading a church, I have found that the decision to be part of a small group is one of the most pivotal decisions a Christian can make. In my experience, to choose relational isolation is to choose spiritual immaturity. The reason is, we need each other. It is difficult for any of us to navigate the complexities of life without each other’s input. To see clearly without other people’s perspectives. To stay motivated without the encouragement of others. To make difficult changes without one another’s love.

Christians who choose to walk the path of faith alone often find it to be an overwhelming and confusing journey. As a pastor, I have had the opportunity to watch thousands of people navigate this decision firsthand and can say that with very few exceptions, people who make community a part of their lives tend to grow and thrive with God – and people who don’t, generally tend to struggle and have a more anemic experience of God. This isn’t a judgment, just an observation.

I’m curious. What has been your small group experience? How important has it been in helping you grow?